I find myself stating a disclaimer before I share with people. I am constantly scanning the horizon trying to be ahead of what someone might think or how they will take the reality of the abuse we endured. I find myself prepping people, asking if they are ready to hear the real story, or do they want the shortened-easy to hear version.
I am constantly trying to protect those around me - not just the friends and family that are close to me, but to people that aren't even in my close circle. The realities are hard.
I let this sink in the past couple of weeks as I have told the stories with disclaimers over and over. During this sinking in time, I have decided that I can not control how anyone else takes the story, the words, the realities of child abuse - sexual, emotional, physical. I have no control over others emotions or their ability to hear the truths that surround this story.
I will no longer let the story, the memories or the sharing of the events - to cause me to second guess discussing or sharing. This is my truth, my reality...I can only hope that sharing this story would impact someone, somewhere...even if only one.
Being able to say 'I was raped by my father", "My biological father forced me to perform oral sex on him", "My biological father performed intercourse for the first time at a very young age," these statements are real, they are reality and they need to be spoken.
Society makes these story somewhat taboo and we are getting better - but we have a long way to go. The reality is - these stories happen daily. Kids are being raped by people that are suppose to protect, them, love them and help them grow into successful adults.
This is the reality - a US Army Officer, Don, molested and raped his children - for most of their childhood years. He was manipulative, calculated and violent.
Reality bites. #bethechange