Today, had a lot of down time, which doesn't happen often. It's probably a good thing that I don't have too much down time as my mind is always spinning and working overtime. So today was one of those days. Battling a cold did a lot of sitting and resting. I received a couple emails this week from survivors inquiring about how long recovery takes. I thought that was an interesting question and since I am not educated in the topic, I can only go by what my experiences are.
But as I was thinking through the topic of recovery, I was thinking about the 5 second decision. It seems as though in 5 seconds you can make decisions that can take a lifetime to come out of. Wether it be a purchase on a credit card, a damaging word that came out of your mouth, an email that went to the wrong person, catching the eyes of someone, kissing someone, a beating by your father, forced sex by your mother--the list can go on and on ...but the reality of is in 5 seconds we all make decisions or are impacted by decisions that can be detrimental or completely positive to our future.
One particular that emailed this week mentioned that she filed bankruptcy. She said that is going to take 7-11 years to come out of it, but that the abuse that she went through as a child was over 27 years ago. It is so interesting to me how long things take for us to get over, the damaging effects of abuse is lifelong. Although you learn to deal with it and you learn how to manage the memories and you learn how to not let your abuser control your life any longer, you never seem to be "over it".
I think that is the case with any type of abuse, neglect... but can also be the same for happy things as well. Another person emailed this week about loving. She said that she was really struggling getting over a relationship. The man is still in her life and she doesn't know how to move on, that she felt like she had dealt with her abuse at the hands of her mother, but can't seem to move on from feeling love for this person. She was feeling it the other way.
Getting over things, working through things, grief, abuse, debt, love.....all take time and time is what you need. There are so many great resources to help you through. If you work somewhere most have an employee EAP (Employee Assistance Program), these normally can help you set up counseling and you can get so many visits for free.
There are blogs, books, resources, everywhere. Be cautious, read and really do some research so that you get some reources that are going to be helpful and applicable to your situation.
Maybe you want to try the REM type of therapy, get an appt with a counselor/phsychiatrist and talk to them about the options.
Its a long road and you will never be completly over it, but hopefully you can close the chapter on that part of your life and access it when you want to in the future. And then if you talking about happy thoughts, and memories, put them away and dig them out when you want.
Love to you all, praying for lives to be changed.
Resources:
Helpguide relating to Rapid Eye Movement Therapy
Recovery
Steps to Recovery, Stages of Recovery
But as I was thinking through the topic of recovery, I was thinking about the 5 second decision. It seems as though in 5 seconds you can make decisions that can take a lifetime to come out of. Wether it be a purchase on a credit card, a damaging word that came out of your mouth, an email that went to the wrong person, catching the eyes of someone, kissing someone, a beating by your father, forced sex by your mother--the list can go on and on ...but the reality of is in 5 seconds we all make decisions or are impacted by decisions that can be detrimental or completely positive to our future.
One particular that emailed this week mentioned that she filed bankruptcy. She said that is going to take 7-11 years to come out of it, but that the abuse that she went through as a child was over 27 years ago. It is so interesting to me how long things take for us to get over, the damaging effects of abuse is lifelong. Although you learn to deal with it and you learn how to manage the memories and you learn how to not let your abuser control your life any longer, you never seem to be "over it".
I think that is the case with any type of abuse, neglect... but can also be the same for happy things as well. Another person emailed this week about loving. She said that she was really struggling getting over a relationship. The man is still in her life and she doesn't know how to move on, that she felt like she had dealt with her abuse at the hands of her mother, but can't seem to move on from feeling love for this person. She was feeling it the other way.
Getting over things, working through things, grief, abuse, debt, love.....all take time and time is what you need. There are so many great resources to help you through. If you work somewhere most have an employee EAP (Employee Assistance Program), these normally can help you set up counseling and you can get so many visits for free.
There are blogs, books, resources, everywhere. Be cautious, read and really do some research so that you get some reources that are going to be helpful and applicable to your situation.
Maybe you want to try the REM type of therapy, get an appt with a counselor/phsychiatrist and talk to them about the options.
Its a long road and you will never be completly over it, but hopefully you can close the chapter on that part of your life and access it when you want to in the future. And then if you talking about happy thoughts, and memories, put them away and dig them out when you want.
Love to you all, praying for lives to be changed.
Resources:
Helpguide relating to Rapid Eye Movement Therapy
Recovery
Steps to Recovery, Stages of Recovery
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