So it's Father's Day.  I had many messages from people about how hard today is

for them.  Their father's abused them and they are fatherless now.  It's  funny I  have been there done that.  There were plenty of father's day's where I sat and  back and said poor me, I don't have a dad, so sad, so  pittiful....etc.

Don't get me wrong not saying that you are all saying  that, but I just know the feeling I know the sadness, the emptiness when
this day rolls around and you don't have the love of a "daddy" in your  life.  It's  not easy and takes a long time to get past.
I don't know  why,  but it does.  Something I realized this year is it no longer matters.   Yep, no
dad here....so what.  I no longer have to look at the day as a  negative and  heartache.  I look at it now as just another day.

I  think  that the forgiveness has shed a new light on this day as well as many  other
days.  It doesn't take away some of the pain or some of the thoughts  that creep  in, but it does take care of the pain all of the time and on  days like today  when everyone is wanting to be with their father, when  everyone is celebrating
their "daddy" and you have no one to  celebrate.

I want to suggest to all of you sit down and write your  thoughts out.  Release all the hurt and agony in your soul....write your
abuser a letter and let them know what   your feeling and thinking --- get it out FIND YOUR VOICE.  Once you have all
your thoughts down on paper....seal  them up.  Mail them to the abuser, or burn
them or put them away somewhere,  whatever works for you.

Then sit down and really pray about  forgivness....remember you are forgiving to release your soul into your new 
life---to the beginning of the rest of your life....to a new start, a fresh  start, a beginning that you have been waiting
for.

It is possible.....to begin your new life  now....find your ULTIMATE  FORGIVENESS!!
Excerpt from Dr. Ned Hallowell's book Dare to Forgive:

What does it mean to give up your title to anger and resentment or to refuse to
live under their rule? It means that you set yourself free from those feelings.
You no longer let those feelings own you; you disown them. When you feel the
yoke of hatred start to take you in its grip, you step out. You lift it off. You
renounce it. You put on the yoke of love, instead.

When you've been
hurt, why on earth would you do this? In order to improve your own life. As
Joanna North, a philosopher and renowned expert on forgiveness, put it: "What is
annulled in the act of forgiveness is not the crime itself but the distorting
effect that this wrong has upon one's relations with the wrongdoer and perhaps
with others."

Throughout her writing, North emphasizes how forgiving (or
accepting forgiveness) makes people healthier and happier. As she says, "Through
forgiveness the pain and hurt caused by the original wrong are released, or at
least they are not allowed to mar the whole of one's being for all
time" 

Love to all, praying for lives to be changed.
 

Amazing....I am sitting on the 7th floor of the Sheraton National Hotel in Arlington, VA overlooking Washington DC, the Pentagon, and the Potomac River.  This has been somewhat of a bitter sweet visit.  I am here for a National Psoriais Foundation Volunteer Leadership Conference and for the Psoriasis Capital Hill Day.  Tomorrow we will be over at the Capital Hill meeting with Senators and Representatives on the topic of medical funding for research for a cure for psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.

Your probably thinking, why am I talking about this here and now....well here and now is always present right???  We can put the memories, the history away, but what do we do with the here and now??
Well 26 years ago I lived in Maryland.  Yep right down the road.  We would bring our visitors here to DC to see the sites, of course it looks way different at age 38, then when your 12, but still memories none-the same.

I realized tonight that the memories have been more on the forefront of my mind then I thought.  It's been great to be away, have a break, catching up with old friends, and family, but WOW, the memories....are still there.  Have I forgave my "daddy" as I called him at the time...I have forgiven him for me.  But the pain and hurt and the memories of what happened during those times are not gone and probably never would be. 

I wanted to go to the base where we lived and drive by the house we lived in all those many years.  Decided against it.  WHY do you ask?  Probably because I don't want to know what is in me that might come out.  I am not afraid, I just have other things to focus on this trip and don't want to derail my thoughts, energy.  But as I sit here gazing at this amazing view and the night sky...the tears are streaming down my face. 

Here are some of my random thoughts:
Thoughts for a "Daddy"
Why would you choose to never be in our lives again?
Why would you make those choices -- that would cause you to never meet your grandkids?
Why did you play the games you did?  Why did you touch me with your private parts?
Why did the Army never know what you were doing to us behind those walls??  If only walls could talk.
Why did we get you as a daddy?

So many whys with no answers, but I can say that today I am free....yes these memories are here and tears are streaming down my face, but I know that I am living my best life and not letting you "daddy" rule that life any more...YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME OR MY LIFE.

Love to you all.....praying for lives to be changed.....FIND YOUR ULTIMATE FORGIVENESS.