Forgiveness...what a touchy subject--sure has risen emotions of all sorts. But tonight I wanted to blog a little about forgiving yourself. None of us are perfect, we are born in depravity--the natural ability for wrong doing. Being able to forgive my bio-dad, wasn't about giving him a pass or permission to be back in my life, it was about releasing the true me, the ability to be free in life.
There is also forgiveness of myself. During this entire process I had to forgive myself. Yep, forgiveness of ourselves is
sometimes the worse. I had to release and forgive myself, for feeling like I allowed him to do what he did to me, allowing him to hurt and abuse my brother, allowing him to hurt others in my life. I got to an age where I was old enough to stand up to him
and I didn't, I chose to take the easy road, "The right things are never the easy things". I have this engrained in my head, but I had to forgive myself. I didn't deserve what he did because I went through puberty and had to begin to wear a bra.
So tonight I want to ask each and everyone of you, what are you holding against yourself? What do you need to forgive yourself for?? What do you need to move beyond in your life. Release those feelings and emotions from you....forgive yourself.
I was not resonsible for this man doing what he did to me, my mom, my brother....no one, It wasn't my fault...I have forgiven me. It's not your fault that you wore a dress that day, or drank to much that day, its not your fault and you need to forgive
yourself so that you can move on and come beyond all of that. You can release that piece of your life and find the true you
and your true feelings and emotions. Forgiving yourself might actually be harder than forgiving anyone else.
I believe this to be so. We can be harder on ourselves than anyone else....self-talk can wipe us out. Forgive yourself -- for wahtever your holding on, possibly not abuse related at all, could be your finances, could be your weight, could be your relationship, could be your children, could be anything.....forgive yourself and let yourself free.
Hugs to all tonight, praying for lives to be changed.