Keep on Keepin' on......

Sixteen years ---- and it took 14 years of that to get to "forgiveness".  I remember staying up night after night and thinking why me, why would a father do thiese things to their families let alone their children.  WHY ME?  And then as I began to realize that God didn't make him do the things he did, he did the things he did on his own accord.  I kept thinking about how the abuse was eating me up inside on a daily basis, how he still had control of  me, of my life, of my healing.  That is when I started and continue to pray.  There had to be a way to get over this and move on and get it out of my mind...there had to be a way to take control of my life and no longer allow him to control it from where he was in the world...not even in my "life".  Amazing isn't the power of not forgiving the power that a person can have over our lives and not even be in the day to day?  Keep on keepin' on, fake it till you make it....I used all these sayings constantly----the only way to keep going....one of the necessary tools to get to the end results---->

I remember reading  a qutoe once....

"Not forgiving is like you eating the rat poison, but the rat still gets away."

Unforgiveness is rat poison in your life...the hate, the anomocity, the pain isn't hurting the perpetrator at all---just allows them to continue to control your life, allows them to continue  to talk words and thoughts into your head---

I am not saying its easy, but it's necessary....don't allow your perpertrator to continue to control you, continue to abuse you, and continue be in your head.  STOP the pain---it might take you a very long time, but it is so worth it in the end.

Have a great night---and remember you and your life is worth way more than the pain that they caused....

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

love you all.